An Awkward Truth
by Tosuta
Summary: A Kaito x Gakupo fanfic. Warning: Contains yaoi. Rated M just in case.
1. Chapter 1: Kaito's POV

Okay first of all; 'm Dutch and my English s. So yeah, my writing style might be boring from a lack of vocabulary and it might be full of mistakes, but I'll try my best for you! 8D Interglot will be my best friend while writing this. (A)

The POVs will be vary.

**Kaito's POV**

Gakupo carelessly leaned against the wall as he lit a cigarette. "What do you want?" he asked bluntly. I coughed. I waved the smoke away with my hand. Gakupo smiled.

"Oh I'm sorry." he said as he dropped his cigarette and watched as its spark slowly died. He looked at me with curiousity. I realized I didn't answer his question. I shrugged. Gakupo raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you wanted to tell me something?" I said nothing. I felt my face was going red.

"Or did you just want to see me?" He gave me a mischievous smile.

"No way." I said. "You're grossing me out."

Gakupo sighed and lit another cigarette. He ignored my coughing this time.

"So what did you want to tell me?" He gazed at the sight of the city beneath us.

We were standing on the balcony of his appartment.

"It doesn't matter." I mumbled. I took a few steps forward and lay my arms on the banisters. Gakupo lived on the ninth floor of a huge appartment complex. I thought about when he just moved there, and I went to visit him with Luka. She was so afraid of heights that she clung onto my arm tightly as soon as we got on the balcony and didn't let go until we were inside.

I noticed that Gakupo was staring at me.

"What?" I asked with a provocative tone.

"You came all the way to my appartment to tell me something, and now that you're here it doesn't matter anymore?"

I rolled my eyes. "Got a problem with that?"

Gakupo shook his head. "You're being weird. I'm going back inside."

He tossed his cigarette off the balcony and walked away. I watched as it fell endlessly, until I lost sight of it. I closed my eyes. It was a warm night towards the end of summer.

Gakupo was right. I was being weird. But I felt confused. I didn't really know why I suddenly wanted to see the guy... I couldn't stand him, most of the time. I planned to make up an excuse to come over, and said I had something to tell him, but now that I was here, I couldn't think of anything credible. Why did I come here again?

"Yo, weirdo, want a drink?" Gakupo called from the kitchen. I involuntarily smiled and followed him inside.

"Just coke." I replied.

"Just coke?" Gakupo pretended to be surprised. "What's with you today? Have you gone straight-edge or something? I have plenty of sake, you know?"

I shook my head. "Just coke is fine."

Gakupo shrugged. "Fine either way."

I slandered to the living room and plumped down on the couch. I took a deep breath.

Alcohol was no good. I couldn't afford to lose control. Who knows what I'd say after a few glasses of sake. Who knows what I'd do?

Gakupo entered the living room carrying two glasses of coke.

"I might as well have the same as you." he explained, while winking at me. I took the glass from him and took a sip. Gakupo gracefully sat down and brought his glass to his lips. It took him forever to take a sip, swallow, and slowly lick his lips to prevent a droplet of coke from dripping down his chin.

"Kaito?" I realized I was staring at him and quickly looked away.

"Hey..." Gakupo sounded serious all of a sudden. "Are you okay?" He lay his hand on my shoulder. I bit my lip. My heart was pounding.

"I'm fine." I said while smiling at him. I tried to sound cheerful. Gakupo examined my face.

"Are you sure?" He touched my forehead. "You're red-hot!"

I quickly pushed his hand away.

"I'm fine. Of course I'd be hot, it's just hot in here. I'm sure you're hot too."

Gakupo leaned back a bit and suddenly smiled. "You think so?"

I sighed. "Give me a break."

Gakupo sniggered. "Oh come on, I'm just nagging you, don't be so touchy."

"I know." I murmured. "I'm just not in the mood."

Gakupo gave me a confused look and took another sip.

I wondered where this night would be going...


	2. Chapter 2: Gakupo's POV

**Gakupo's POV**

Kaito sat on the couch gazing in front of him with that pained look of his.

"I'm sorry." I said. Kaito didn't react. He looked uneasy.

I took the last sip from my glass while keeping my eyes glued on Kaito's profile. After finishing the coke, I held the empty glass against my cheek. It was nice and cool. I saw Kaito's eyes turning to me and closed my eyes.

"Oh crap!" Kaito yelled all of a sudden.

When I opened my eyes I saw him staring at his wristwatch.

"I missed the last bus!"

I couldn't help but giggle.

Kaito threw an angry look at me. "That's not funny, I have to walk home now!"

I smiled and shook my head. "No problem, I'll give you a ride."

I took my car keys from my pocket and raised them in front of Kaito's face. He followed the glittering metal with his eyes.

"Thanks." He mumbled.

"Anytime." I said cheerfully. "So, want to stay for another while, since I'm giving you a ride anyway..."

Kaito seemed to think about this suggestion for a few seconds. He looked straight into my eyes with a thoughtful expression. His serious face surprised me a bit.

"Better not." He finally said. "Just take me home. I'm exhausted." He closed his eyes for a second or two.

"Alright, let's go then." I said. I hoped he didn't notice the disappointment in my voice. He followed me as I left the apartment and locked the door. Silently, we waited for the elevator.

Kaito seemed to avoid my eyes and just kept looking straight to the floor. I wondered what happened to the cheerful mood. As we entered the elevator the silence became unbearable, so I decided to end it.

"Kaito?" I realised I had to say something now, but I didn't know what to say.

_I just called your name to break the silence._ would sound a little weird, now wouldn't it?

Kaito looked up to me with questioning eyes.

"What?" he asked.

I took a deep breath and desperately thought of something to say. "How have you been doing?" was the result of my creative thinking. I felt like slapping my own face.

Kaito frowned while looking confused. "What?"

I averted my eyes. "Well you know. Like, how are you really. Are you okay?"

Kaito gave me a flustered look. "Sure... Why wouldn't I be?"

I felt my face glowing. Why did I ask such a ridiculous question?

"Do I look that troubled?" That serious face again. In fact he díd look troubled. Did this mean I actually hit the bull's eye with my stupid question?

"Uhm... I-I don't know..." I stuttered "Maybe... A little."

Kaito remained silent. The elevator stopped and opened its doors. We left the building and walked to the parking lot. After watching me unlock the doors, Kaito got into the eggplant-coloured car.

Why was he like this today? He used to be cheerful. I kinda liked his cheerfulness. He would smile all the time. If only he would smile right now. I was sure that'd make it less awkward.

I sighed as I started the car. The engine began roaring, but as I wanted to switch, the roaring ceased.

"That's odd." I murmured as I tried again.

"What's wrong?" Kaito asked. He sounded a little panicky.

I shook my head. "It won't start..." I said.

Kaito's eyes widened. "You're kidding."

I closed my eyes. "I'm not. I'm sorry."

"SHIT." Kaito yelled. He sounded scared rather than angry. "I have to get home!"

He got out of the car and began to walk. What the... I got out as well and followed him.

"Where are you going?"

"Home." Kaito simply said.

"Walking?" I asked surprised. Kaito nodded.

"Are you nuts? It's already getting dark! And it's way too far, you'll walk for hours."

"I don't care." Kaito said bluntly.

"But I do." I ran in on him and stood before him so he was forced to stop walking.

"Listen." I said calmly. "It's madness walking home this late. It's too far. And you're already feeling unwell."

"I'm not!" Kaito raised his voice.

"Yes you do!" I fired back. "You've got a temperature."

Deep down, I felt I just wanted him to stay, for no particular reason.

"You can crash at my place you know. It's not that big a deal."

Kaito heavily shook his head. "No can do. Let me through." He gave me a push and tried to continue walking.

"What is with you?" I started yelling. "I'm not gonna let you through. You're sick. You've looked gloomy all evening, you've got a temperature, your face is red, and you're trembling. If you walk home in this condition, you'll kill yourself, man. I don't want to be responsible for that! Just stay over. It's no problem, you can sleep on the couch. And I won't rape you in your sleep or anything." I made the last thing sound like a joke.

"I know that!" Kaito yelled. "That's not the point!"

"Then what is the point!" my voice echoed through the humid evening air.

"Okay fine!" He shouted. "Whatever. I'll stay."

I breathed a sigh of relief and forced myself to smile. "There. Good boy."


	3. Chapter 3: Kaito's POV

**Kaito's POV**

I silently folllowed Gakupo back to his appartment. None of us said a word. I couldn't stand to look at Gakupo's back while his purple ponytail waved as he walked. So I just looked at the ground, trying to think of something to say. When Gakupo stuck the key into the door of his appartment, he suddenly froze, seemingly hesitant. He glanced at me over his shoulder and opened his mouth, as if to say something. But then he seemed to realize something, shook his head, and opened the door. I couldn't help being curious. Why did Gakupo always have to be so mysterious?  
He entered the appartment and sat back on the couch, with his arms spread over the back side. He breathed a sigh, sounding exhausted. I just stood there watching him. After a few seconds he noticed that I was staring at him, but instead of saying something about it, he started staring straight back at me, not saying a word. I felt my heartbeat quickening, and I wanted to avert my glance, but for some reason, my eyes were glued to his, and I just couldn't look away. For what seemed an eternity, we gazed at each other, until Gakupo finally closed his eyes, smiled, opened them again,and patted on the seat next to him.  
"Sit." he said. I obediently sat next to him. Staring straight at my feet and desperately trying to control my breath. My hands were warm and sweaty, and Gakupo's spreaded arms almost touched my shoulders.

Now why was I so nervous? Was it because I yelled at him before? Right now I was sitting so close to him that his scent of cigarettes and lavender surrounded me. But then again, maybe it was because his seablue eyes didn't seem to let me go...  
I watched the purple figure from the corner of my eye. He just kept looking at me, like I was a diamond, and he wanted to check if I was genuine. What was genuine were the butterflies, flapping around in my stomach like crazy. It made me angry. How could I feel this was when I was with him? I didn't even like him!

And then finally, he dropped his glance and leaned back. He swept a lock of purple hair out of his face and rested his head on the back side of the couch. Staring at the ceiling, and licked his lips. I had to admit. Maybe, if he looked like that, sitting next to me on this couch, looking up with that pure, almost innocent expression on his face, and his hair, flowing down alongside his shoulders, then maybe, I liked him a tiny little bit.

Just as this repulsive thought crossed my mind, the man sitting beside me tilted his head and showed me an arrogant smirk. "What are you looking at?"

But then again, maybe not.

"Nothing." I hummed. I quickly took my eyes of him and pretended to be fascinated with the carpet again. I felt my skin was glowing. Something was bugging me. I didn't want to, but I just had to say it. "Hey, Gakupo..."

With these piercing eyes aiming for mine I couldn't hold back any longer. I gazed at him breathlessly as my mouth moves on itself; uttering the following sentence:

"I'm glad you stopped me from walking home."  
Gakupo seemed surprised for a moment, but then smiled leaned over to me. "Me too." he whispered.

Why excactly did he lean over to say that? And why was he whispering? And why was he so close that I could see his pupils widen? I gasped for breath as I watched his eyes run over my face. He had a birthmark just below his left eye, I never noticed that before. I could swear I felt his warm breath upon my skin, and I could count his eyelashes if I wanted. My lips trembled as I opened my mouth again.

"G-Gakupo...?" Even my voice sounded shaky. Gakupo dropped his eyebrows.

"You're blushing." he said, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand.

"You're hot again, too. I think your fever is coming back."  
"I think so too." I gasped, unable to argue about my condition anymore. I silently prayed he couldn't hear my heartbeat.  
And then, without any warning, he suddenly leaned back again.

"Do you want some medicine?" he asked. He looked sincerely worried all of a sudden.

I shook my head as I breathed out slowely. "I'll be okay."

Gakupo nodded. "Let's go to sleep then." he said.

"But I'll be checking up on you every few hours to see if your fever gets worse, okay?"

No! Not okay! Not okay at all. Definitely not okay at all!

"Okay." I mumbled while slowly nodding.

Gakupo smiled and petted my head, like a mother who praises her child.

"Good night then." he said, and he disappeared into the bedroom. I took a deep breath and slowly lay down on the couch. The place where Gakupo had sat was still warm. I inhaled again. The couch still smelled like lavender and cigarrettes.  
Just when I was about to close my eyes, Gakupo came out from his room again, carrying a blanket. I sat up quickly.

"That won't be necessary!" I muttered. "It's a warm night anyway!"

Gakupo rolled his eyes. "Kaito, you're sick. And don't be mistaken, the nights can be cold here. Now lay down."

He made a gesture that probably meant for me to lay down as well, so I obeyed. He carefully draped the blanket over my body, slightly touching my chest as he pulled the edge of it up to my chin. I felt a bit childish, being pampered by him like this.

"I can do that myself, you know."

Gakupo grinned. "I know, but I don't mind."

I sighed. "Now go to bed already."

Gakupo pouted. "Won't I get a good-night-kiss?"

I ignored the flutter in my stomach, grabbed the pillow and threw it at him. "Get lost."

Gakupo laughed heartily as he tossed the pillow back to me. "All right, I'll go to bed too."

He walked towards his bedroom and opened the door, but just before closing it, he glanced over his shoulder once more.

"Sweet dreams, Kaito."

With those words, he shut the bedroom door behind him, leaving me in agitation, and with a slight sense of dissatisfaction.


	4. Chapter 4: Gakupo's POV

**Gakupo's POV**

I lay awake as I stared at the ceiling. My heartbeat wouldn't seem to calm down and I didn't feel sleepy at all. Kaito turned out to be right about not needing a blanket, the room was incredibly hot. I felt as if my skin was glowing and I was sweating all over. Or was it really the room? I felt a little feverish. Maybe Kaito had contaminated me. Kaito. I hadn't been able to think about anything else for the past few hours. All my thoughts were occupied by the blue-haired boy, sleeping just a door away from me. As I had been trying to sleep, tons of pictures of Kaito had been running through my mind. Kaito blushing, Kaito frowning, Kaito yelling at me… Kaito gasping for air as I came to close. Kaito smiling when he threw the pillow at me. Thinking about him again, I felt a sudden desire to open the door and spend a short visit to the other room. Just to take a look at his sleeping face. Watching him breathe for a while.

I turned around so I faced the mattress and covered my head with my pillow. What on earth was wrong with me? How could I have such vulgar thoughts? About Kaito of all people! Kaito wasn't that kind of person at all. And neither was I. I desperately tried to think of something else but it was to no avail. Those big blue eyes in my mind just wouldn't leave me alone. I removed the pillow from my head and sat up slowly. I was panting heavily and my face felt like it was on fire. I took a deep breath and got out of bed. I had to get some fresh air.

I put on my slippers and opened the door. As I entered the balcony and closed the door behind me, I was suddenly nailed to the ground as I noticed that I wasn't alone. A dark-blue silhouette stood there silently in the moonlight. His azure hair fluttered in the midnight breeze as he slowly turned around to face me. Kaito seemed as surprised as me. Widening his eyes, which were just a few shades brighter than the night sky above us, and just like me, he had taken of his shirt, exposing his pale skin to me.

As if he didn't realise what was going on until just now, he covered his mouth with his hands.

"Ga-Gakupo!" He stuttered. "I-I didn't know you were…"

I waited for him to complete his sentence, but he didn't.

"I couldn't sleep." I said, trying to sound calm. "I needed some fresh air."

Kaito nodded and walked to the banisters. I realized there was no reason to be embarrassed, since we were both guys.

"Me neither." said Kaito. His voice was trembling. I walked over to where he was and stood next to him. I lay my wrists on the hand-rail. The metal felt nice and cold.

"The sky is clear tonight." Kaito muttered, staring up at the stars.

"It sure is." I said, but after glancing at the sky, I couldn't help but secretly peek at Kaito's naked upper body. His slender arms were carelessly dangling alongside his chest, his hands hidden in his pockets. He shivered slightly.

"Are you cold?" I asked, ready to go back inside to get him a coat. Kaito shook his head and smiled at me. "The temperature's just fine."

I raised my eyebrows. "But you were shivering just now. And you're already not feeling well."

Kaito giggled shyly. "I'm feeling fine now. I'm not cold. Honestly. I shivered for some other reason." As he turned his head towards the full moon, I could swear I saw a shade of pink on his cheeks.

Looking at his figure from aside, watching him gaze at the distance with that melancholic look again, I was struck by a sudden urge to touch that naked chest of his. His skin, despite being pale, looked soft and warm to me, and his lips were incredibly inviting. My heart started pounding again and I felt like my body was being controlled by something as I reached out my hand.

"What are you doing?" I could feel Kaito shiver again as my hand touched the skin of his side, but he didn't do anything to stop me. To stop that hand from stroking his back, going up to his neck. Not only didn't he resist, he even took a slight turn so he was facing me, and then came a little closer to me. "I- I don't know." Surprised by my own action, I withdrew my hand, my palm was still smouldering from his body heat. "I'm sorry."

Kaito panted and took another step towards me. "Don't be." He whispered. "And please don't stop."


End file.
